Yes, it’s been years, actually - decades, since you had the power to humiliate me and make me feel inferior. I’m not sure why you felt the need ….well, now I think I know, but back then, I didn’t. All I knew then was that no matter what I did to try to ‘please’ you, I would end up feeling horrible. I would cry. I would think up ways to not be your target. I gave you my best snacks/lunch – both when you demanded them and even when you didn’t, because it would look like a favour I was able to bestow, which gave ME that good feeling you get when you do something nice for someone. In reality, I was trying to buy your good graces. I did whatever you wanted me to do, in order to not be insulted and made fun of, even if it went against my values, because I felt that was the only way to survive. It rarely worked. I was selling my soul to the devil – I couldn’t have termed it that way then, but I had that understanding. Most of this happened in elementary school. When we went to high school, you tried to do it there too, but – there was a much bigger population and I found my niche and it didn’t include you, so I was able to dodge your bullets. But ohhh- you tried – over and over again. And since, we’ve grown up and made lives for ourselves. And – you are an employee of my school board now – not as a teacher, but in another capacity. And I’ve run into you a few times in the past 20-some-odd years, most recently yesterday at our PA day. And I really wonder if you remember what you did. I really wonder if you feel the same way now about yourself? About me? I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten - and for me, you will always carry that aura of a not-so-nice-person.
I write this as something of a catharsis and as a thought-provoker for anyone reading – how do YOU want to be remembered? Is there an apology you need to speak? It is never too late to say sorry, I messed up. On the other side – does someone need to know s/he hurt you so that s/he can apologize? Life, as we all know, is short!