Saturday, 21 November 2015

Open Letter to the Bully

Dear Bully:

Yes, it’s been years, actually - decades, since you had the power to humiliate me and make me feel inferior. I’m not sure why you felt the need ….well, now I think I know, but back then, I didn’t. All I knew then was that no matter what I did to try to ‘please’ you, I would end up feeling horrible. I would cry. I would think up ways to not be your target. I gave you my best snacks/lunch – both when you demanded them and even when you didn’t, because it would look like a favour I was able to bestow, which gave ME that good feeling you get when you do something nice for someone. In reality, I was trying to buy your good graces. I did whatever you wanted me to do, in order to not be insulted and made fun of, even if it went against my values, because I felt that was the only way to survive. It rarely worked. I was selling my soul to the devil – I couldn’t have termed it that way then, but I had that understanding. Most of this happened in elementary school. When we went to high school, you tried to do it there too, but – there was a much bigger population and I found my niche and it didn’t include you, so I was able to dodge your bullets. But ohhh- you tried – over and over again. And since, we’ve grown up and made lives for ourselves. And – you are an employee of my school board now – not as a teacher, but in another capacity. And I’ve run into you a few times in the past 20-some-odd years, most recently yesterday at our PA day. And I really wonder if you remember what you did. I really wonder if you feel the same way now about yourself? About me? I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten -  and for me, you will always carry that aura of a not-so-nice-person.

I write this as something of a catharsis and as a thought-provoker for anyone reading – how do YOU want to be remembered? Is there an apology you need to speak? It is never too late to say sorry, I messed up. On the other side – does someone need to know s/he hurt you so that s/he can apologize? Life, as we all know, is short!


  1. An amazing, intimate post. If only you knew then what you know now. Beautiful.

  2. WOW! What a great post! I have never been bullied and can't imagine what you went through. It would be interesting to know your physiological response to seeing your bully now. Does your stomach turn? Do you feel the least bit angry? Have you ever imagined what you would say if you could (or wanted to) confront that bully now?